Family Blog

My Four Li'l Tornadoes

10/19/2011

My husband and I started building our home about nine years ago. We built it ourselves so it took us over two years to complete. During the build we lived with my parents for four months, my in-laws for a year, and an apartment for a year. Because we had a low budget we tried to only contract out what we couldn't do ourselves. I remember hanging off a ladder painting the trim on our roof while being pregnant.

I remember my daughter's wardrobe consisting of paint and drywall stained clothes. I remember every weekend gathering as many family members as we could to help. I remember my mother-in-law spending weeks insulating the entire house. And no, we are not cruel. She really offered and seriously wanted to do it!

I remember moving into our unfinished house less than a month before my due date. I remember being upset that my water broke the day I planned to paint our bathroom. I remember coming home from the hospital and having people come to visit while trying to maneuver through construction supplies. My husband and I dedicated every free moment we had and worked hard to build our house. Now, seven years later, our beautiful home is slowly being destroyed by four little tornadoes.

However, God has taught us that even though we worked hard, the joy we have with our children is worth infinitely more than our house.Jesus said, “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy (or kids), and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" (Matthew 6:19-21, emphasis mine).

Though our house is wasting away, God is building our family upon the indestructible foundation of His love. So as much as it frustrates us to see another thing in our house destroyed, we have to remind ourselves where our true treasures lie—in living for Christ and enjoying the family God has given us.

Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him.
—Psalm 127:3

How about you? Are your children little tornadoes too? Please tell me I am not alone!

*Next week is my other blog's (Sharing Truths) one year anniversary! I will be featuring six different authors and a giveaway each day. I will have signed copies from Gary & Norma Smalley, Penny Zeller, Chuck Balsamo, Dave Moore, Deborah Bateman(ebook), and yours truly-Amanda Beth! Come to this website or Sharing Truths next Monday for the first giveaway.

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God's Given You the Best

10/15/2011

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Warren Baldwin posted a giveaway for my book at Titus 2 In Action. You can read an excerpt from chapter three "The Real Enemy - Out to Destroy Your Family" at this link: God's Given You the Best

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Nagging Spouse

10/6/2011

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I didn’t really share my husband’s faults in my book. I mostly shared my weaknesses and our weaknesses as a couple. Those who have read my book often comment how wonderful my husband sounds and what a crazy wife I was. So I thought I would share one of my husband’s weaknesses. This is not to dishonor him or point out his flaws to make me look better. It's just to encourage others that no one is perfect. We all have weaknesses, no matter how good we are.

My husband is a great husband and father. However, he frequently points out my faults. I admit I used to be a very difficult wife. But God has changed me tremendously through the years. I can honestly say that I get up each day striving to be the wife, mother, and woman God created me to be. I don’t ever purposely try to do wrong as I did in the past.

My husband gets annoyed with the little things that I do or don’t do. For example, it drives my husband crazy when he can’t reach me when he’s at work. Our home phone is connected to our computer. If one of our kids knocks against the computer, the phone disconnects. My cell phone isn’t that loud and I usually can’t hear it over all the noise, especially if it’s not on the same level I am on. My husband told me recently that he wanted me to carry my cell phone with me wherever I went. As a mother of four children it isn’t easy to lug around a cell phone to every room I am in. So I've been forgetting to carry it with me.

I was outside today for three hours doing yard work with my kids. And, of course, I forgot to bring my phone outside. After trying to get ahold of me for three hours, my husband left work to see if we were okay. When he got home and saw we were fine, he snapped at me.

I walked away and let him calm down before I talked to him about it. I told him I didn’t purposely leave the phone inside the house. I didn’t purposely try to make him worry about us. It was an honest mistake.

I think this is where a lot of couples struggle in their marriages. They expect something from their spouses, but instead of encouraging them; they demand change. Then, they get mad when they don’t see immediate results.

It may take a few times for me to start remembering to take the phone with me. Yelling at me when I mess up isn’t going to help me remember. It will only discourage me.

When my husband continually points something out to me, I feel pressured to change. If I try to please him and try to change myself, it only leaves me frustrated and pulls me away from him.

My husband knows this. And I know he’s trying to change as well. So I have learned to react calmly when he gets on me about my faults. I try to not take it to heart. I try to remember that God is the One I have to please. If I am pleasing God and trying my best, He will set my husband straight when he’s treating me wrong.

It’s okay to point out each others' weaknesses. We shouldn’t close our eyes to our spouses’ faults. But we can approach our spouses in a loving manner, and pray for God to help them change. Then, we should leave it in God’s hands instead of continually getting mad every time they fall.

God doesn't get mad at us when we fall. He lifts us up and encourages us to continue trying. We need to treat our spouses the same.

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
—1 Thessalonians 5:11

*NOTE: My husband gave me permission to share this message:)

Images by Church Art

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Book excerpt: What Women Need

10/2/2011

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This is an excerpt from my book, "YOU CAN HAVE A HAPPY FAMILY - Steps to Enjoying Your Marriage and Children." It's taken from the chapter "What Women Need."

Understanding and Empathy

Loving unconditionally doesn’t mean you have to agree with your wife or understand her. Understanding and empathy were two important needs women wrote about. I know we are complex and hard to figure out, but you don’t have to understand us to be understanding.

For example, when I share a concern with my husband, he instantly wants to fix it by giving me a solution. I don’t want him to fix everything. Most of the time I want him to listen to me and show me
compassion. I’m not expecting him to understand what I’m feeling. I just want him to understand that it’s important to me. I want him to listen to how I feel. He’s getting better at knowing when I want a listening ear. And I’m getting better at not getting mad when he gives me a solution instead.

Women, we need to be understanding with our husbands and not get mad when they don’t understand us. Do we honestly think our husbands can understand all the emotions we feel? Men, next time your wives want to talk, listen and have a little empathy to show you care about their feelings. That’s all we want.

Women are more emotional than men. We tend to take things personally and get offended more easily than men. My husband gets confused trying to understand me. He says women are too complex compared to men. We need to believe the best in each other and realize we are different. God made us different to complement each other, not to bring separation.

Knowing you are made differently, so you think differently, will help you understand your wife better. It may seem to you that your wife overreacts to things, but maybe she just sees it differently. She won’t see it the way you do because she is different. It may be nothing to you, but it might be something to her.

One man explained how he shows understanding to his wife: “I do not take any issues too seriously regardless of the way my wife overreacts to small situations.”

In general, women are more expressive and men are more direct. We want to get to the root of the problem and men want to solve it and move on. If you are patient with her and remain calm, regardless of her reaction, the problem will get resolved quicker than if you keep escalating it by getting angry. She may only want to express how she feels. By being calm and caring, you can work together to solve the situation.

It is to a man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.

—Proverbs 20:3

Arguing solves nothing. It only separates us more. Strife always begins when someone wants their way. All my arguments with my husband stem from one or both of us wanting to be right. James 3:16 says, “For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.”

Many households are full of disorder, and it stems from self-centeredness. One man wrote, “You must die to self. When there are dry seasons in any relationship, someone has to take the first step toward making things work.” We need to be the one to take that step and do our part to keep strife out of our marriages.

I believe one of the reasons women want empathy is because we have a lot we have to do each day. We want our husbands to notice. I’m at home with children all day. Listening to a crying baby, and breaking up fights over whose toy is whose wears on me mentally and emotionally. My husband would make it worse if he came home and told me how to handle it better, or that I should try doing what he does. All I want is a little empathy.

Being a mother is a 24/7 job and it gets tiring. We spend all day doing things that have to be done again the next day. Most of the time we don’t see our accomplishments until our children are grown. We then pray to see positive fruits of our labor as our children grow into adults. We are affirmed only after we have poured our lives into raising them. This can be emotionally hard during these years.

Whether your wife is at work or chauffeuring children all day, she needs to see that you notice and appreciate her. We want empathy and support from our husbands for all we do to care for our families. We don’t want our husbands getting angry with us when we’re emotionally falling apart. That only weighs us down more.

Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

—Colossians 3:19

One man said, “I try to see the other person’s position, not through their arguments, but after reflection and consideration.” Stopping and putting ourselves in our spouses’ shoes will give us an insight into how they feel and where they are coming from. We all think we have the hardest job no matter what we do. We don’t need to play the “My job is harder than yours” game. We need to show compassion and support for one another.

Telling your wife how much you appreciate all she does for your family will lift her spirit. When she’s had a hard day, sit down and listen to her and comfort her, even if you’ve had a hard day. Once again, it’s about putting your spouse’s needs above your own. This is where you will find true enjoyment and satisfaction in your marriage. It will also help you to be more empathetic when your wife doesn’t do everything the way you want her to.

One woman said she and her husband value each others’ feelings more than the task they expect from each other. We need to value our spouses and show appreciation instead of picking at everything.

If you would like to read more excerpts from my book, click here.

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Book Review: Gary & Norma Smalley

9/28/2011

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I had the honor of reading and reviewing Dr. Gary and Norma Smalley’s upcoming book: 4 Days to a Forever Marriage: Choosing Love or Anger. It is due out October 2011 by New Leaf Press.

Gary and Norma have been married for more than 40 years. They are the founders of theSmalley Relationship Center. Gary is one of the country’s best-known authors and speakers on relationships.

Gary and Norma's newest book is a four day challenge of choosing love or anger in your marriage. At the end of each day’s challenge, there is a section to reflect and review what you’ve learned. There are questions to answer and write down to help you and your spouse talk about what you’ve learned, and help you apply those principles to your marriage.

One thing I really enjoyed about the book was the back and forth conversation between Gary and Norma. I like to hear both perspectives in marriage. I also enjoyed their honesty and willingness to share their past and present struggles.

In one section Norma expressed, “During hard times, when I don’t feel love toward Gary, I always remember that feelings change so many times during the day because situations change—but my decision to love him was a commitment for life.”

I love that even though they’ve been married for over 40 years, they still have to choose to love daily. You can feel their love for each other throughout the book, as well as their strong love for the Lord.

In one section, Gary and Norma talked about honoring one another. They used an example when Gary had a second publicity tour for one of his books. He honored his wife by putting her needs first and cancelling the tour. It truly showed his humility when he stated, “My fulfillment, after all, is in Christ, not in publicity tours.”

I highly recommend this book to all married couples, at any stage in life. I also recommend it to those considering marriage. At the end of the book, there is a section for engaged couples, newly married couples, married couples with children, empty nesters, and couples who are remarried.

You can read more about the book at New Leaf Publishing Group. You can also add it to your wish list on Amazon, so you'll know when it's available.

*Thank you New Leaf Press for sharing this wonderful book with me.

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God is Our Healer

9/27/2011

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I stumbled upon Sundi Jo Graham's website the other day. She shared this prayer request:

I want to introduce you to a little girl who desperately needs your prayers. Meet Lilly. She’s a newborn. Right now she is suffering.

From meningitis to strokes, doctor’s are giving her family no hope. Man is telling them that she will not survive. Medicine says “sorry, there is nothing more we can do.”

But God…

Raised a dead man to life
Parted the red sea
Made manna fall from Heaven
Fed 5,000 people with a loaf of bread and fish

Need I say more?

I haven’t ceased praying for this precious little girl and I am asking for your prayers as well.

Jesus said in Matthew 18:20,

“When two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action. And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I’ll be there.” MSG

God is still in control. God still takes action. Though I don’t know what His plans are, I am praying in faith that little Lily will show man they are wrong.

Will you pray with me?

The very next day, she posted this message:

Yesterday I posted a prayer request on the blog for Baby Lily. Within a few hours, hundreds of you responded and took prayer action.

For anyone that is still in doubt about the power of prayer, read this note from Lily’s grandmother, Judy.

“I want you to know that in addition to the thousands of wonderful people praying for Lily that yesterday my granddaughter, Abby, (Lily’s older sister who is 15 now) stood in front of her church and told everyone Lily’s story. It just so happened that a man who travels the world and has a healing ministry was looking for a church to attend for a sunday service, and happened to land at Abby’s church.. He was so moved by her words he asked to speak to her .. He told her grandfather about his work for the Lord and said that he needed to see this beautiful little baby.. he arrived at the hospital at 6:00 pm.. he asked that we all join hands and started praying for her.. he wasn’t there long , he was a very humble man , he hugged us all and then left.. about 30 minutes later Lily started breathing 25 breaths per minute on her own… She hadn’t been able to breathe more than a few a day up and until that point.. Her beautiful little eyes that have been so swollen that she couldn’t open them if she had been able started to lose there puffiness and within an hour her eyes were wide open.. She has continued through the night to breath 25 breaths per minute and was awake again this morning looking straight at her mommy… Please remember this child is heavily sedated and there is no logical reason for her to even be able to stay awake…. I , we , believe we witnessed a true miracle last night.. We believe there was a healing.. Continued prayers are needed as she has a very long way to go.. Thank you Jesus… And thanks to all who pray for our little Lily ………”
Blessings to all
Judy (Lily’s grandmother)

Please continue to pray with me and hundreds of others as God continues to move mountains with Baby Lily.

As a mom, this especially touches my heart. I have seen my daughter pass out in my arms, not knowing if she was would wake up. I have seen my baby rushed to the hospital to be put on a respirator because he wasn't breathing well.

This is every parents nightmare.

But God tells us, "Do not fear. I am with you." "I forgive all your sins, heal all your diseases, redeem your life from the pit, and crown you with love and compassion." Isaiah 41:10, Psalm 103:3-4

God is so faithful to send His servant to administer healing to baby Lily! Will we be faithful when God sends us to heal someone? Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father."

I have witnessed God's healing power through His Spirit in me many times. I've stood over my aunt dying in the hospital standing firm on God's promises that He was faithful to heal. I have prayed countless times over my children's sickness and wounds and seen God's miraculous healing...sometimes instant, sometimes several days. I have seen my niece and my nephews miraculously healed and the doctors left speechless. I have seen my husband healed instantly several times from head pains and sicknesses.

I don't understand everything about healing, but I know God's Word is true. Mark 16:17-18 says, "And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well.”

Imagine how many non-believers would turn to Christ if we asked God to use us to heal the sick!! They would physically see God's power in their lives.

Would you stand with me and pray for God to use us in a powerful way to heal the sick?

We praise you God for Your healing power over baby Lily. May there be many more stories of healing in the days to come. Use us Lord to heal the sick and bring Jesus to the lost. Show us the power that is inside of us through Your Holy Spirit! The devil has no hold on us. We have power over him and his agents through the blood of Jesus. Help us to stand firm on your promises and may the world see the glory of the Lord shine through us!
In Jesus' precious name, Amen!

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Putting Our Spouses First

9/20/2011

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I went to the video store recently to get a Christian love story my sister recommended. When I got there the movie had already been checked out. As I was praying about what to rent I saw a display of the movie “Thor.” I remembered my husband mentioned he wanted to see that movie when it was out in the theaters. So even though I didn’t particularly want to watch Thor, I rented it to surprise my husband.

I don’t watch too many secular movies. Most of what’s out there today is junk. But this movie was surprisingly clean. I don’t remember any swearing. Normally in action hero movies there’s a women dressed provocatively and there’s usually a sex scene. That wasn’t the case in this movie. The only part that was revealing was when Thor had his shirt off. And I think my husband was more impressed than I was. In fact, I think He’s worked out every day since that movie. :)

The movie also had a great message about a father’s unconditional love for his sons. It reminded me of God’s unconditional love for us. I wanted to bless my husband and I ended up blessed by that movie. Plus, it ended up being a great love story, so I got the movie I wanted after all.

I believe God blesses us when we lay down our desires and put our spouses' desires first. Jesus said that greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life (his own needs) for his friends (for others). —John 15:13

I remember going to my husband’s work Christmas party one time when a woman made a comment to me saying, “I never go to my husband’s work events. I make him go by himself.”

I may not enjoy sitting with a bunch of people I don’t know, but I go to those things to support my husband. I believe doing the things my husband wants to do helps draw him closer to me. That woman doesn’t realize she’s separating herself from her husband, and it could open the door for another woman to come in. I have seen that happen many times.

When couples repeatedly do things separate from each other it opens the door to temptations. When we are considerate with our spouses’ interests rather than being selfish with our own interests, it strengthens our bonds in our marriages and draws us closer together. Our marriages will be blessed when we put our spouses' desires first.

So husbands, watch those romance movies with your wives, go shopping with them, take walks with them, and see how it draws them closer to you. Wives, go to those football games with your husbands, be at their work events, support them, and see how your marriages will blessed!

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.
-Romans 12:10

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First Post - Enjoying Your Family Blog

7/17/2011

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Welcome to my enjoying your family blog! This is my zany bunch! They keep me running, that's for sure. There's never a dull moment in our house. There are so many unpredictable things that happen each day that I couldn't possibly fit all the stories into my book. That's why I decided to write this blog.

I admit it's a challenge to enjoy everyday life while being married, raising four children, homeschooling, and writing. My prayer is to share my everyday struggles with the hope that these blogs will be an encouragement to others.

I won't be posting a set day as I do with my Sharing Truth's blogs. I want this blog to be more casual. I will post once or twice a week, when something comes up or when God puts something on my heart to share. I'll also post book giveaways and feature guest blogs on marriage and raising children.

If you would like to subscribe to this blog click here or subscribe to the rss feed to the right. Or you can follow blog updates on my Facebook page. Also, if you're interested in being a guest contributor for this blog please fill out the contact form above.

I got the idea for this blog this morning as I was helping my daughter while my three sons played peacefully in their room. I stress the word peacefully because that doesn't happen often with my kids. Of course the peaceful playing didn't last long as my six and four-year-old started screaming at each other over who knows what.

As I raced to their room to break up their fight, I suddenly felt something gushy squish between my toes. I feared to look down as I knew it had to be one of two things, and neither would be pleasing. I looked behind the bedroom door and there stood my two-year-old with his diaper off happily playing with his tool bench, not caring that his bottom and legs were covered in doo doo. So here I am on one foot, holding my toddler at a distance, hopping to the bathtub, and yelling out to my daughter to quarantine the bedroom so my sons wouldn't step in it.

When things like this happen I have learned that I have two choices: I can freak out and let it affect me and my children. Or I can remain calm and laugh about it now since I know I'll laugh about it someday.

Our children watch how we handle situations. If we freak out every time they make a mistake, they will freak out every time someone wrongs them. If we don't teach them how to stay in peace, by keeping calm in stressful situations, they will have a hard time staying in peace.

Jesus said: "Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled.]" -John 14:27, AMP

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Forward>>

Amanda Beth

Thanks for stopping by my site! Welcome to my "Enjoying Your Family" blog!

I'm a wife of 16 years, mother of four children (ages 3 to 11), and author of "YOU CAN HAVE A HAPPY FAMILY - Steps to Enjoying Your Marriage and Children"
and
"THE LOVE WALK: A 15-Week Devotional on 1 Corinthians 13:4-8"

I also author another blog on spiritual growth every Monday at SharingTruths.com, and I am a weekly guest contributor every Sunday at Christian Blessings .

God has blessed me, my marriage and my family in more ways than I could ever imagine. I am so honored to give my life to Christ and share His Word wherever God sends me.

"Blessed is the man who fears the LORD, who finds great delight in his commands. His children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed."
Psalm 112:1-2

Amanda Beth

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