Our Marriage Testimony
By: Amanda Beth
I knew I was going to marry Jason the moment I met him eighteen years ago. He walked into my friend’s restaurant. I took one look at him and said to my friend, “That’s the man I’m going to marry.” Even though I was half joking, our meeting was definitely God ordained.
We started dating a year later. We were engaged within six months and married one day before our one year anniversary. I often say God led us to get married quickly because He knew we wouldn’t have made it past a year.
The first five years of our marriage were rough. We both accepted Christ at Vacation Bible camps when we were young (I was too young to remember). However, we weren’t taught to grow in our relationships with Christ. As a result, we both came into our marriage with a lot of baggage (mine was heavier than his).
Most of our fights were caused by his past and my insecurities. I was hurt by his past relationships and I didn’t know how to cope with it. That hurt turned into obsessive jealousy. My husband couldn’t walk in a store without me accusing him of looking at another woman, even though he had no idea who I was talking about half the time. He told me he was scared to look in any direction out of fear I would start a fight.
Because I didn’t know Christ and my worth in Him, I didn’t know how to love my husband nor accept his love. I started working at a restaurant/bar early in our marriage. I was young and constantly surrounded by attention from other men. Their attention seemed to take away my hurt and give me confidence. But it didn’t take long to learn you can only play with fire for so long before you get burned.
I was out one night with my co-workers and got into a situation I didn’t want to be in. That moment was a wake-up call for me. I saw that if I didn’t change direction I could lose my marriage. Soon after, I started listening to preachers on Christian radio and started reading the Bible. I gave my heart to Christ, quit my job, left the partying lifestyle and started having children. My husband also followed, and started reading the Bible and going to church with me.
All our problems didn’t get resolved instantly, but God worked many miracles in our marriage that first year. One miracle was God completely took away my jealously and insecurity. My husband and I used to have knock-down, drag-out fights. Walls would get punched out, things would get broken, sentimental items would get destroyed. My husband even ended up in the hospital once because he cut himself breaking something during one of our fights. Those types of fights ceased completely when God took away my jealousy. It’s been twelve years since I gave my heart to Christ. We still have arguments at times, but they are miniscule compared to those early days in our marriage.
One of the most valuable lessons God’s taught us in our marriage is to be completely honest with each other. My husband wasn’t able to be honest with me in the past out of fear of my reaction. I also wasn’t honest with him out of guilt. Once God got ahold of our hearts, He led us to be honest with everything. Just recently my husband and I shared some things that we have struggled with in the past year.
Our honesty helped us see that we haven’t been giving each other what we needed. As a result, our hearts were being led astray and it was opening the door to temptations. The devil is sly. He knows when we are most vulnerable. By being open with our struggles, it keeps us one step ahead of the devil. The devil has nothing to work with when we have nothing to hide.
James 5:16 says, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”
We want to encourage every couple to be completely honest with God and your spouse. When you are open and honest with one another, God can work with you and heal your marriage.
Rather, let our lives lovingly express truth [in all things, speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly]. Enfolded in love, let us grow up in every way and in all things into Him Who is the Head, [even] Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One).
Ephesians 4:15, AMP
*You can read more about our testimony in my book "You Can Have a Happy Family."
We started dating a year later. We were engaged within six months and married one day before our one year anniversary. I often say God led us to get married quickly because He knew we wouldn’t have made it past a year.
The first five years of our marriage were rough. We both accepted Christ at Vacation Bible camps when we were young (I was too young to remember). However, we weren’t taught to grow in our relationships with Christ. As a result, we both came into our marriage with a lot of baggage (mine was heavier than his).
Most of our fights were caused by his past and my insecurities. I was hurt by his past relationships and I didn’t know how to cope with it. That hurt turned into obsessive jealousy. My husband couldn’t walk in a store without me accusing him of looking at another woman, even though he had no idea who I was talking about half the time. He told me he was scared to look in any direction out of fear I would start a fight.
Because I didn’t know Christ and my worth in Him, I didn’t know how to love my husband nor accept his love. I started working at a restaurant/bar early in our marriage. I was young and constantly surrounded by attention from other men. Their attention seemed to take away my hurt and give me confidence. But it didn’t take long to learn you can only play with fire for so long before you get burned.
I was out one night with my co-workers and got into a situation I didn’t want to be in. That moment was a wake-up call for me. I saw that if I didn’t change direction I could lose my marriage. Soon after, I started listening to preachers on Christian radio and started reading the Bible. I gave my heart to Christ, quit my job, left the partying lifestyle and started having children. My husband also followed, and started reading the Bible and going to church with me.
All our problems didn’t get resolved instantly, but God worked many miracles in our marriage that first year. One miracle was God completely took away my jealously and insecurity. My husband and I used to have knock-down, drag-out fights. Walls would get punched out, things would get broken, sentimental items would get destroyed. My husband even ended up in the hospital once because he cut himself breaking something during one of our fights. Those types of fights ceased completely when God took away my jealousy. It’s been twelve years since I gave my heart to Christ. We still have arguments at times, but they are miniscule compared to those early days in our marriage.
One of the most valuable lessons God’s taught us in our marriage is to be completely honest with each other. My husband wasn’t able to be honest with me in the past out of fear of my reaction. I also wasn’t honest with him out of guilt. Once God got ahold of our hearts, He led us to be honest with everything. Just recently my husband and I shared some things that we have struggled with in the past year.
Our honesty helped us see that we haven’t been giving each other what we needed. As a result, our hearts were being led astray and it was opening the door to temptations. The devil is sly. He knows when we are most vulnerable. By being open with our struggles, it keeps us one step ahead of the devil. The devil has nothing to work with when we have nothing to hide.
James 5:16 says, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”
We want to encourage every couple to be completely honest with God and your spouse. When you are open and honest with one another, God can work with you and heal your marriage.
Rather, let our lives lovingly express truth [in all things, speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly]. Enfolded in love, let us grow up in every way and in all things into Him Who is the Head, [even] Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One).
Ephesians 4:15, AMP
*You can read more about our testimony in my book "You Can Have a Happy Family."
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