I started this series at Titus 2 In Action, but I was unable to finish it due to the website closing down. I am re-posting it here on my website. I will be posting a new message from this series every Wednesday. If you would like to follow this series be sure to sign up at the right sidebar to receive email reminders of new posts.
Ignite The Fire In Your Marriage
After returning from our honeymoons, the blazing hearts we have for our spouses start to simmer down as daily life, and raising children, start to take precedence over our relationships with our spouses.
But with God's help, we can re-ignite that fire in our marriages and set our hearts blazing once again for our spouses!
Being on fire for our spouses doesn't mean having romantic feelings toward them 24/7. My husband and I have four children, ages two to ten. With all the commotion in our house, we don't exactly have a lot of time for romance. Our kids are very active. They keep us running from the moment they get up until they go to bed.
At the end of the day, my husband and I don't break out the candles and wine and gaze into each others eyes. Rather, we nuzzle up together and gaze at the inside of our eyelids while passing out in exhaustion.
Our passion for each other is that we enjoy being together, even during the chaotic moments. Our passion is having a marriage filled with unconditional love. Our passion is trusting that no matter what happens, we will stand beside each other until death separates us.
I believe this is the type of passion God desires for us—marriages that will continue blazing through the storms in life.
In order to ignite the fire in our marriages, we must pursue our spouses' hearts by making an effort to meet their needs.
My husband and I have had many rough patches in our marriage. There were times in the past when I honestly didn't want to pursue his heart. If your marriage is at this point, don't give up hope. God can re-ignite a fire in your heart and change your desire for your spouse. Pray and ask God. He is faithful to change your heart.
In the meantime, do it on purpose, even though you don't feel like it. My husband once told a female co-worker some of nice things I do for him. His co-worker retorted, "I wouldn't do that for my husband! I'm not his servant!" My husband responded that I enjoy doing those things for him, and he enjoys doing things for me as well.
Meeting our spouses' needs doesn't mean we become their slaves, giving them everything they want. Marriage is about giving and receiving. It's like with financial giving, we have to sow in order to reap.
To meet our spouses' needs we need to communicate with them. "Honest" communication is vital for a healthy marriage. I emphasize the word "honest" because it won't do our marriages any good if we are communicating with our spouses, but not being completely honest with them.
Awhile back, my husband and I had a long, meaningful talk together. With having four children, it's often hard to find time alone to talk to each other. We hadn't had a long talk in awhile, and I felt a little wall slowly building up between us.
During our talk, we shared some things we had been holding in, that concerned us about our relationship. We were able to talk about our needs and be honest with our feelings. As we were honest, we felt the wall come down that was hindering our hearts from drawing closer together.
My husband expressed how nice it was to be able to be honest with his feelings and struggles. In the past, he wasn't able to be honest with me, because I wasn't understanding. I would get angry when he shared anything that hurt or offended me, or that I didn't agree with.
It's important to allow your spouse to be honest without judging them or taking offense. Give your spouse the freedom to be open with his or her struggles, needs, and desires. Pray and ask God to help you be compassionate. God was able to change me and give me an sympathetic heart. I know He can do the same for you.
Sometimes our spouses' needs may not be what we want to give them, but as long as their needs are fitting in the Lord, we should pursue to meet them.
"Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves."
--Romans 12:10, KJV
Remember to come back next Wednesday as the series continues with "What Men Need."
*In celebration of Easter, you can download "You Can Have a Happy Family" for FREE on Kindle TODAY (4/4) at Amazon! If God raised Jesus from the dead and restored us, He can raise your marriage from the dead and restore it!!
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